A family unfair

As pop icon and Grimes & Jones fave Frankie Sandford gives birth to something called Bridge we remember to remind all of one of the main risks of shagging with an entry from our new publication the Hemisphere of Liars: childbirth.

Try a little tendrilness

As luxury-seeking, bad back carrying, soft-knobbed fans of the internet we, Grimes & Jones have this message for all you raging would-be sperm donators: ‘try a little tenderness’.

In this image from our upcoming book ‘the Hemisphere of Liars’ we present this eager youth with his hard body just waiting to rub himself against the world, but in his hauntingly rendered eyes we see the gooey ghost of love and maybe just a hint of reluctance.

Therein lays the contradiction of being a bloke with a sane mind and a loving relationship but the unfortunate opportunity to spend a few hours alone browsing this sort of thing online. 

All in all perhaps the best attitude to have is represented by pornusers forum member turboshaft who had this to say: ‘my fantasies have never included having a meal, drinks, or both. After all, it's not food that I lust after... ’