The Hemisphere of Liars is here!!

The TV is left on with the sound down and out of the corner of your mind’s tiny eye you see a pro wrestling style entrance ensue. 

You glance up from your soft-core reading to see Grimes & Jones’ slim line book of nonsense and thicko-graffiti swaggering towards the ring.

Lasses and Gentlemen our long promised book of lies, tall tales and smooth-arsed fallacies was born this week and is now poisoning its way throughout the populace (being distributed).

To secure your copy click here, this will take you to the Art Wednesday website where you will be debited £14.99.

Happy cashy splashy everyone ;) 

SOCIALISING: in Wakefield

Artists should be seen and not heard said somebody ages ago, we took their advice and went out for a Snoop round the Wakefield Artwalk.

We even submitted our own entry to the Dr Who exhibition: Davros Flatley. What do you think? We think it's a bleeding masterpiece.

Mark Scott-Wood was there, and we were as always very pleased to see him. 

Here's a picture of licensed curator and 85% lad Bob Milner, who presented his tremendous Dr Who exhibition at Westgate Studios.

There was a drawing contest too and we probably won it with this vodka scented entry.

All in all we had a right nice time, cheers Wakey.

Postcards for sale

Dearest friends, button bashers and long time admirers,

We, Grimes & Jones (artsuperiors) are finally for sale.

You can now buy packs of our postcards, our famous bloody postcards (as well as other, larger works) on Art Wednesday.

These dire sketches and drunken revelations of the crayon come in packs of 4 and cost £10.

Get your fucking money out.

(Note: We can not guarantee you will get a complete pack of 4 'useable' postcards; these are picked at random from a large pile, some of them have food-stuffs on them, some of them aren't even that funny. Sozzard.)
Read more at http://marketplace.artwednesday.com/art/art-other/postcardz-4-packs.html#QpLUlEMRhsdSGQW8.99

(Note: We can not guarantee you will get a complete pack of 4 'useable' postcards; these are picked at random from a large pile, some of them have food-stuffs on them, some of them aren't even that funny. Sozzard.)
Read more at http://marketplace.artwednesday.com/art/art-other/postcardz-4-packs.html#QpLUlEMRhsdSGQW8.99

A family unfair

As pop icon and Grimes & Jones fave Frankie Sandford gives birth to something called Bridge we remember to remind all of one of the main risks of shagging with an entry from our new publication the Hemisphere of Liars: childbirth.

Try a little tendrilness

As luxury-seeking, bad back carrying, soft-knobbed fans of the internet we, Grimes & Jones have this message for all you raging would-be sperm donators: ‘try a little tenderness’.

In this image from our upcoming book ‘the Hemisphere of Liars’ we present this eager youth with his hard body just waiting to rub himself against the world, but in his hauntingly rendered eyes we see the gooey ghost of love and maybe just a hint of reluctance.

Therein lays the contradiction of being a bloke with a sane mind and a loving relationship but the unfortunate opportunity to spend a few hours alone browsing this sort of thing online. 

All in all perhaps the best attitude to have is represented by pornusers forum member turboshaft who had this to say: ‘my fantasies have never included having a meal, drinks, or both. After all, it's not food that I lust after... ’

No Armani, No Punani

“No soap, no hope.”
“No splash, no gash.”
“Wash your fingers for de mingers.”
“No Armani, no punani.”
“You touch it, you wash it.”
“No spray, no lay”
“No tissue, no issue.”
“No Davidoff, no suck it off.”

“No wash, no nosh.”
“No gum, no cum.”
“No money, no honeyz.”
“No cologne, go home alone.”
“No Calvin Klein, no 69.”
“No designer, no vagina.”